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SGC Memos Series

"Waiting for Mission Report"

by Sarek Fan and TheOneRing



To: Daniel Jackson
From: O'Neill -- two l's
Subject: Late Mission Report

Daniel, isn't your report finished yet? 

Really, how hard is it to say, "I found some pretty old rocks...they appear to be Meso...Mesopot...Messy"?

Sometime in this millennium would be nice, Daniel!

Col. J


To: Jack O'Neill
From: Daniel Jackson
Subject: Mission Report


Um, no, I haven't finished the report yet...The artifacts from P7x-749 have a written script that sprawls across their uniquely smooth surfaces.

I never thought I'd say this, but you're right...according to my research so far, the culture of the planet is Mesopotamian in origin. The script however is NOT from the region that the artifacts are...It's not anything like Hebrew, Aramaic, Persian, Egyptian or Goa'uld even.

I'm going to be at this a while...I need coffee.



To: DJ
From: Frustrated Colonel
Subject: How to speed up your archeologist -- without coffee!

So, was THAT your report then?

Tick-tock, tick-tock...

Don't *make* me come to your office!

Jack, Colonel Extraordinaire


To: My *Colonel*
From: Snarky Archeologist
Subject: Whatcha Gonna Do?

No, it wasn’t.  It was my *attempt* to explain why I need more time to decipher the stones’ message...meaning of life stuff here, Jack!

What are you gonna do?

Irritated & intrigued,
Dr. DJ


To: Pain in the Mik'ta Rock-Boy
From: Your *Colonel*
Subject: What I'm going to do

Hmmm...what to do, what to do.  Oh, I have an idea!

Be afraid, Rock-Boy...be very afraid!

Your irritating and intriguing *Colonel*


To: Pain in the Ass Colonel
From: Man with multiple degrees
Subject: I’m waiting, *Colonel*


Jack, I’m nearly 40!  Isn’t it about time people, namely YOU, start seeing me as a grown man?

Oh, bring it on, Jack!  I can take it.

Scholarly yours,
Doctor Jackson


To: Major Sam Carter
CC: Dr. Rock-Man
From: Colonel Jack O'Neill
Subject: Excellent report

Major Carter,

Your mission report from P7x-whatever was excellent; very concise, well written, informative, easy to read, and most importantly -- ON TIME!!

If only everyone on SG-1 could submit their reports in a timely fashion, stating the relevant facts of the mission instead of performing continued
research and making sweeping rationalizations on "answers of life" stuff, I could be home nursing a beer and watching the NHL!

Oh, and Dr. Rock-"Man"... the answer to life, the universe, and everything is 42.  End of story.

Your ever patient and understanding Colonel Jack


To: Fly Boy
From: Studious Linguist
Subject: My Reports

My reports are detailed, relevant, and, whenever possible, on time. 

In the words of Ford Prefect, "Don't panic!"  Where are those pesky Babel fish when you need them?

At the moment my brain is fried...I'll be over at your place in an hour. Are the Canucks playing?  I'll wager they can beat the Avalanche by at least 2 goals.

Now, where's my towel?

D -- feeling a bit like Arthur Dent at the moment


To: Dr. Sucker
From: Fly-"Man"
Subject: You are *so* gonna owe me

You're on!  Two goals??!  You do know you are *so* gonna lose this one, don't you?

I'll swing by your office in 10.  You better have that report finished when I get there!

Oh, and don't you *dare* bring it with you to my house unless you want me to use it as kindling for the fire!



To: Cocky Colonel
From: Canadian Hockey Fan
Subject: You are *so* on!!!!

Alright, Jack.  It’s done…I’ll send it to you and meet you topside.

Place your bet, oh Fearless One...



To: Naive Canadian Hockey Fan
From: It's *me*, FCOL!
Subject: Fearless One?

Hmmm...I like that name, "Fearless One"...

And what are you doing reading this email anyway!  Better get your mik'ta moving if we're gonna make the start!  We can order dinner out.

Oh, and my bet? 

Avalanche wins, you call me "Colonel" on our next off-world mission the *entire* time. 

Canucks win by more than two?  Ain't gonna happen but...if it does, I actually *read* your next mission report!

Fearless One

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